


High Emotions

by SemiSpookyGhost



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Crying, Emotional, F/M, LEWD, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Vanilla, lots of feels, loving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:09:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SemiSpookyGhost/pseuds/SemiSpookyGhost
Summary: After rejecting Sayori, MC feels confused and ashamed. He can't fall asleep, so he goes for a walk. He sees that Sayori is still up and goes up to her room to apologize. Many different emotions ensue.





	High Emotions

I can’t get her out of my head. It’s unbelievable how much everything changed today. Sayori not only confessed her feelings for me, but also revealed that she had been struggling with depression. It still doesn’t even feel real. Sayori had somehow managed to hide both of these for so long. Either she’s an amazing actress, or I’m just a dense idiot.

I cringe as remember all of the things I said to her. “I almost feel betrayed”, god, what the hell was I even thinking? And then there was her scream when I rejected her. I’d never heard something so awful before. It sounded so soul crushing. I couldn’t lead Sayori on though. I don’t feel the same way as her. At least, I don’t think I do. It was still probably best to reject her since I’m not sure. I didn’t think I loved her, but what I’m feeling now seems to suggest otherwise. My emotions don’t make sense anymore.

I think back to my childhood. How friendly Sayori was to me, how happy she made me. And how did I repay her? By abandoning her when she needed me the most. I’m really the one who betrayed her. I'm a terrible friend. 

My heart feels like it’s shattered into a million pieces. Why do I feel this way? I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. Is this love? Do I love Sayori? I’m so confused about how and why I’m feeling like this. I said I knew what was best for her, but I doubt that now. I didn’t even know she was depressed until yesterday. I don’t know anything anymore. Just a week ago, I was content with being a loner, but all that changed when I joined the literature club. I’m not sure what I even want now. I’ve never thought about someone else this much. It’s scary, but also strangely pleasant. It just feels right somehow.

I’m not going to get any sleep, so I decide to go for a walk to clear my head. The crisp autumn night helps calm me down. My mind becomes clear and I finally reach a conclusion: I definitely care for Sayori as more than just a friend. There’s no denying it. I really screwed up, didn’t I? I’ll need to think of what to say to her tomorrow, or technically today, given how late it is. As I’m coming back towards my house, my eyes are drawn towards Sayori’s window. Her lights are on. What is she still doing up at this hour? Maybe she’s just going to the bathroom? Oh, who am I kidding? The answer is obvious. She’s taking me rejecting her very hard. Guilt floods into my mind. I need to fix this mess. I need to go apologize to her right now. I need to go and set things right.

As I walk up the front steps of her house, I start having second thoughts. Maybe I’m the last person she wants to see? What if I screw up and end up saying stupid things again? Despite my doubts, I push onward. I have to do something. I have to try.

I enter her house with the key she gave me and head upstairs to her room. My heart rate skyrockets by the time I reach the door. Sayori must have heard me by now, so there’s no backing out. I knock on the door. “Sayori? I need to say some things about what happened yesterday.”

There’s no response. I can tell that her lights are still on, so there’s no way she’s asleep. I put my ear to her door. There’s the sound of something creaking. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Something is very wrong. I slowly open the door. “Sayori…” I manage to say before I recoil in horror. 

Sayori is hanging from a noose. She’s already trying to free herself, but isn’t having any success. Her face shows that she’s writhing in agony. I need to go help her. I try to loosen the knot, but it won’t budge. No, this isn’t working. Panic and dread burst into my mind. Am I about to watch her die right in front of me? I need to think of something else fast. I scan around her room, trying to find something to cut the rope with. There’s a box cutter on her desk. I go and grab it and start to saw away at the knot. Eventually the rope breaks apart as Sayori falls to the ground. I hold her steady so she doesn’t loose her balance. We both just stare at each other for a while. This still doesn’t feel real. At least I know Sayori is safe now.

Once the adrenaline wears off, what just happened finally sinks in. I can’t hold back the tears as I wrap my arms around Sayori. She was almost gone forever. I never want to let go of her again. Sayori hugs me back and starts sobbing. Despite us both crying, the hug feels nice in a way. It’s warm and comforting. I eventually speak to Sayori, or at least I attempt to. 

“Sayori…why?” I ask with a weak, shaky voice.

“The t-thoughts…were…s-so b-b-bad,” She stutters out, sobbing in between each word.

I tighten my grip around her. She sniffles as she tries to speak, “I-I-I’m ….s-s-sorry”.

Why is she apologizing? Is she really blaming herself for this? I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, given her depression. I take a deep breath before I respond to her.

“Sayori, t-this isn’t your f-f-fault,” I say, my voice wobbly and unsteady.

Sayori then looks me in the eye with a very confused look. “H-how can you say that?” She asks, her voice hoarse from crying, “I almost caused you so much pain. All because I was selfish and couldn’t deal with my thoughts. I tried to take the easy way out.” She sounds sad and defeated. Seeing her like this wracks my heart. I can’t stand it anymore and decide to speak up. 

“Sayori if anyone should apologize, it’s me.”

“MC, how can you say that? I’m the reason you’re hurting.”

In a way, she technically isn’t wrong, but blaming herself is completely ridiculous. I mentally prepare myself. I need to be confident to reassure her.

“Look, n-no matter what y-you think about yourself, Sayori, I want you to hear me out on this.” I state to her. “Just let me finish what I want to say, and then you can respond, okay?”

“All right, go ahead.”

I take a deep breath to calm myself a little before continuing.

“I wanted to apologize for… well… just about everything. But, especially for the way I’ve treated you these past few years. You were always there for me when we were kids. But… when you needed help and support… I-i left you in the dust. I took you for granted and started ignoring you. I’m… ashamed I acted like that.” My voice starts to waver again. A tear falls down my cheek.

Sayori wipes the tear away with her hand. “Hey, it’s ok. I stopped getting up on time anyway, so I can’t really blame you. You didn’t owe me anything.” She then realizes she just interrupted me, “Um… Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” I say. I then continue where I left off, “I could have tried to help you. After being my first friend when I moved here and had no one, after all the times you comforted me when I was picked on in school, I could’ve bothered to try, but I didn’t. I know you call yourself selfish, but I’ve been selfish too. You always helped me whenever I needed comfort, but I never even attempted to return the favor.”

Sayori looked deep in thought. She was probably trying to find some way of blaming herself for this. I can’t let her do this any more. The next thing I’m about to say will be the hardest part. I try to relax; I can’t afford to mess this up again.

“Sayori, I know everything is hard for you, but can you please promise me one thing.” I start to choke up. “Please, never try to kill yourself again.” My eyes start to water. “I need you, I can’t bear the thought of living without you.” Sayori’s eyes start to become watery too. “Sayori…I…I love you.”

Sayori gasps in shock. “MC…Yesterday….”

“I know what I said yesterday. I was wrong. I was just… really confused and scared. Before yesterday, I didn’t even know you were depressed; that was a huge shock. And on top of that, you confessed how you felt about me. I didn’t know what to think. I never thought you considered me as anything more than a friend, so I guess I never considered how I felt about you. I ended up panicking. I didn’t want to lie to you. But, after I went home, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how much I hurt you. And about how awful I’ve been over these past few years.”

I take a deep breath before I continue. “I’m scared Sayori. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m scared that I’ll hurt you again. I know I said I knew what was best for you. But the truth is, I don’t know anything. I don’t…” Sayori suddenly grabs both of my hands. She’s smiling sweetly at me with a slight blush on her face.

“MC, I love you. You think you’re the one that hurt me, but you’re not. On some days, you were the only thing that got me out of bed. Please, don’t be scared.”

Her grip on my hands manages to soothe my nerves. Holding each other’s hands like this just feels…right.

“I guess this makes us a couple then,” Sayori says.

“Yeah…it does,” I say, my face heating up a little.

We stare at each other with lovestruck smiles, until Sayori’s face suddenly drops.

“Why…Why do I feel like this? I thought this would be the happiest moment of my life. But, everything still feels so gray...”

I don’t know what to say. It really shows how severe her depression is. Then again, I suppose it would be natural for her to feel sad, considering what happened earlier.

“Sayori…” I start to say.

I’m interrupted by her suddenly kissing me. I barely even have time to react before Sayori pulls away. She has a look of shame on her face.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what came over me,” She says.

“It’s okay, Sayori. You’re my girlfriend now, I don’t mind kissing you. Though, that was a little sudden…”

“I just wanted to feel nice…” she says in a tone of desperation.

“Did it work?”

“Kind of,” She starts, “It felt nice to be close to you, but then the thoughts of me not deserving you came. I liked it, but at the same time, I was ashamed for liking it.”

“Well, feeling both bad and good is better than just bad, right?” I ask, hoping to cheer her up a little.

“You… have a point there…” she says with a tiny smile.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind doing that again…” I say with a flirtatious smirk.

“Then c’mere you,” Sayori responds playfully.

We lock lips again, except this time, I can fully savor it. Sayori’s lips have a faint cinnamon taste to them. I have no idea how, but it’s still nice regardless. We break the kiss. I stare into Sayori’s shimmering, sapphire eyes. I never noticed how pretty they were until now. 

“MC…please…more,” Sayori begs. We push our lips together again. This time we don’t separate. We keep going, having short but continual kisses. I feel the warmth of her body as we wrap our arms around each other. Her heart is beating rapidly. 

Eventually, we start exploring each other’s mouths. It feels a little odd, but the awkwardness is offset by the joy I feel being this close to her. She seems to be satisfied too, judging by her moans of pleasure. I’m glad she’s enjoying herself, both for her sake, but also for mine, since her moaning starts to excite me.

Lustful thoughts begin to fill up my head. It also doesn’t help that her left shoulder is exposed. Soon enough, my body reflects my arousal. Sayori looks surprised as she takes notice to being poked in the thigh. She breaks our kiss. Crap, did I mess this up? Maybe she thinks I’m some pervert now? I need to explain myself.

“Um…I…” I try to stammer something out as my face becomes red hot. Sayori lets out a giggle.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed!” She says with a flirty smile. “It’s fine MC, I was just surprised to have something suddenly touching me.”

I’m relieved. I really overreacted to that. I manage to calm down, at least until I hear the next thing Sayori says.

“Do you maybe… want to take care of that?”

Did she really just ask what I think she did? I didn’t expect this at all, but the thought is very pleasing. Though, I guess I should ask to be sure about what she means.

“You mean you want to…” I start to say.

“Yes, you big dummy,” She says. Her face gets more serious before she speaks again, “I just want to be close to you. I want to feel you inside of me. Do you… maybe want to do that too?”

My excitement shoots through the roof, until I realize something.

“I’d love to Sayori, but we don’t have any protection,” I say disappointedly.

Sayori smiles at me, “That’s not really true…I have some pills that can take care of that. It will be fine, MC. Don't worry about it.”

Health was one of the classes Sayori actually did really well in, so she knows what she’s talking about. I know I can trust her.

We both move toward the bed. I sit down as Sayori climbs onto my lap. We remove each other’s shirts. Once she sees my bare chest, Sayori has a look of primal lust in her eyes. She lunges at my lips and we continue our make out session from earlier. Only this time, it’s much more intense. I move my hands up and down her back, feeling her smooth skin. Sayori then starts to move her hips. I moan as pulses of pleasure surge through my body. Sayori starts moaning too, making it even more pleasurable for me.

After some fumbling around, I manage to get her bra off. I look at her chest. “Told you my boobs got bigger~” Sayori says as she winks at me. I can’t help but smile at her. This girl really is something else. “Why don’t you touch them instead of just looking at them?” she asks.

I put my hands on Sayori’s breasts and start to play with them. Sayori closes her eyes and her breathing becomes heavy. She occasionally lets out an “mmmm” or an “ahhh.” Seeing Sayori’s pleasure makes me ecstatic. She’s been in pain for such a long time. I’m glad I can give her some relief. 

Sayori suddenly grabs my wrists and stares straight at me.

“I love you so…so much, MC,” She says in a soft, but determined voice. There’s a small amount of tears in her eyes.

She's thanking me? I thought guys were supposed to be the thankful ones. Wait, why am I even asking myself this?

“I love you too Sayori. I’m so lucky to have you in my life,” I tell her.

I see a smile spread onto her face. I hope she took what I said to heart. She really needs to appreciate herself more.

The next thing I know, we’re back to kissing each other again. This is driving me wild. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. I manage to speak in between our kisses. “Sayori…our…clothes…need…to… go.” 

She gets off of me and starts to take off her shorts. I start unbuckling my belt. Eventually, we manage to remove the last of our clothes. We’re now completely naked. She’s a total bombshell. I can’t believe I had this amazing girl around me for so long and never noticed. I even thought she was annoying! How could I have been so stupid?

Sayori seems just as satisfied with my body; I can see the desire in her eyes. Despite my excitement, I can’t help but feel a little nervous. I want to make sure Sayori has a good time, but I have no idea what I’m doing.

“You nervous?” I hear Sayori ask me.

Does she have a sixth sense for reading people's emotions or something? “How did you…” I start to ask before I give up. “Yeah… I guess I am,” I say.

“I’m nervous too, so don’t worry. Besides, I’ve already had such a good time. Lets just enjoy ourselves,” She responds with a friendly, loving smile.

How is she so good at this? She always knows how to make me feel better. “Then let’s not wait any longer,” I say as I move towards her. We sit facing each other. Sayori climbs into my lap. Pleasure flows through me as she lowers herself on to my shaft. I’m inside of her now. She winces slightly as I finish entering her.

“You okay?” I ask her, concerned.

“Just a little discomfort, I’ll be fine.”

She wraps her arms and legs around me and starts moving. I start thrusting in an attempt to complement her movements. The rhythm is disjointed at first, but we eventually manage to become more synchronized. It’s obvious that we don’t have any sort of experience, but neither of us cares. We’re just sitting on the bed, enjoying the moment. It’s like nothing else matters. It’s just the two of us, and all we need is each other. This almost feels like a dream. I still can’t believe this is happening. I love being this close to her. I love feeling her warm breath. I love seeing the pleasure on her face. I love the sound of her moans. I love how warm she feels. Being with Sayori like this the hottest thing in the world. Knowing that I can make her feel like this is absolutely incredible. We start to go faster.

“Oh God…this….MC…ahh,” Sayori barely manages to say in between moans.

“Sayori...mmm,” I respond.

We’re not going to be able to get out any sort of coherent sentences. Our brains are in a more primal state now. We keep going, occasionally sneaking in kisses in between moans. Looking into her eyes, I can see her love, lust, and passion all at once. It makes me feel like a god. I feel the pressure start to build within me. I’m not going to last much longer. Sayori is also close, judging by the intensity of her moans.

“Sayori… I’m going to…” I try to say.

“Me too… MC… let’s… try to…. finish together.”

We both get louder and louder. I’m almost there; I only need a few more thrusts.

“yes…Yes…Yes…YESS…AHHH,” Sayori cries out in ecstasy. I only manage to make incoherent moans.

With a final push, pleasure surges though my body. I fill her up as her walls close around me. I don’t even feel attached to the earth anymore. It feels like I’m in heaven. It’s like I’m one with Sayori.

I come back to earth as I collapse on to the bed, making Sayori fall on top of me. We're both heavily panting. I can feel her warm breath on my face. We both smile as we lovingly look into each other’s eyes. Sayori starts giggling in the cutest way possible.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“It just feels so warm and gooey, ehehe~” she says with a goofy grin.

“Really Sayori? That’s what you’re thinking about?” I say, half-serious and half-teasing.

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me, you meanie!” she responds, pretending to pout.

I can’t contain my laughter anymore. I’m glad Sayori is happy now, or at least seems to be. We both eventually calm down. Sayori’s face turns a little serious. Her eyes start shimmering with tears. These aren’t like the one’s from earlier. They’re tears of joy.

“MC…” She begins, “thanks for everything you did tonight. I know everything just seemed to happen so suddenly, but this is the best I’ve felt in a long time. I actually feel… alive.”

I can’t even describe how this makes me feel. Happiness or joy doesn’t do it justice. This is a level beyond that. There’s actually some hope, like a ray of sunshine in a dark storm. Even if this moment of happiness is brief, it’s still something incredible. My eyes well up from the emotions I’m feeling.

“I’m happy to hear that, Sayori. So, so, so happy…” I say. “Let’s remember this forever.” 

Sayori smiles and nods in response. She brings her face down to mine and we start kissing again. It’s not as intense as before, but it’s much sweeter. As much as we both want to stay like this forever, we eventually separate. I’m completely exhausted. Judging by her loud, but adorable yawn, Sayori feels the same way.

“We should probably get some sleep,” I suggest.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Sayori responds. Sayori rolls off of me and sits up. “I’m going to freshen up.” Sayori gets off the bed and heads out the door, leaving me alone in the room. 

I think about everything that’s happened. This night has easily been the most emotional experience of my entire life. I’m still shaken up from Sayori almost dying. If I had been even 10 minutes later…no, I shouldn’t think about things like that. I should focus on how amazing the rest of the night was. Sayori’s alive and safe now, and that’s what matters. It’s not going to be easy, but I need to think of ways to help her. I want to give both of us a happy future, even if I don’t have a clue on how to actually do that. Speaking of the future, I suddenly remember the festival. What are Sayori and I going to do about that? I start weighing my options.

“MC…earth to MC,” I hear a voice say. Following the voice, I see Sayori standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, I must have zoned out…”

“I guess you’re pretty worn out, huh?” Sayori asks.

“I am. But, I was actually thinking about some stuff. Like what we’re going to do about the festival.”

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that.” Sayori says. She touches the tips of her index fingers together in her classic embarrassed pose.

“Well, let’s just get some sleep for now. We can discuss what to do in the morning,” I suggest. Sayori nods in response. I head out the down and down the hall to the bathroom.

After washing up, I return to the bedroom, put on my shirt and boxers, and get into bed. Sayori snuggles up to me. 

“Good night, MC. I love you,” Sayori sleepily says.

“I Love you too. Sweet dreams, Sayori.” I give her a quick kiss on the forehead. Cuddling with Sayori feels extremely soothing, so it doesn’t take long for me to start drifting off. I eventually fall asleep in my best friend’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first lewd fanfic I've written. I hope it turned out okay. I'm not really sure how well I did in describing the lewd parts. Hope you all liked it!


End file.
